Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
