Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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