i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
