I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
