whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
