The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
