whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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