She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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