there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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