Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
