Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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