I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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