That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
