What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
