wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
only you would photoshop your dick
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
