he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
