The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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