He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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