I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
