Don't you send me to vm
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
