Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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