Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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