I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
