and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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