well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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