Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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