Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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