Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
