no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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