Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
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