ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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