Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize
