What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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