I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
