i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
