Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My boob is missing a layer of skin
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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