Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
