wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
