Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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