Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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