just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
