ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
