I'm really into asian looking animals
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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