I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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