my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Four minutes until I can fart!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
