I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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