I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
