this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I woke up under a house in Key West
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
