my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
