did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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