Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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