dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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